Harry Kewell: Does it for Australia

"If Bruce Djite likes playing in the cold, and he's gone to Turkey, then Turkey is good enough and cold enough for me."

Harry could have gone to Celtic, Portsmouth or even Rome. But he chose Turkey. Harry did it for Australia..and here's why.

Speaking to Harry's agent, Scouse Jim, it became very clear what Harry was thinking.

"He's had offers from Liverpool, Celtic, Roma but Harry chose Turkey? Fans are amazed Scouse Jim. Why did he do it?"

"He did it for Australia. Harry's always being devoted to the National team, as you know. Ever since he played in Tehran as a a 17 year old, there's only ever been one National team for Harry."

"You only have to look at the last month. All the other lazy sods couldn't get away quick enough for a break before the China game. Even Nicky Carle, who lets face it, needs the game time, even Nicky dashed off for a surf and stuff.

"Not Harry. China, dead rubber, Harry was there. And he's got the rewards, I mean he played for the fans."

"And in true Harry fashion it had to be Turkey. We got the map out and saw that Turkey was the nearest place to Uzbekistan. Well when Harry said that it was a no-brainer. He can fly straight from Galatasaray to Tashkent."

"And Harry thinks Turkey is actually in Asia, which it is sort of. So the games against Bahrain, Qatar, Harry will be the first one there."

"He's even mapped out Oman and Kuwait in the Asia Cup Qualifiers."

"Flying from Liverpool to Uzbekistan. Harry would have had to go down the M62, to Manchester. Harry hates that. The traffic, the Mancs, remember he wouldn't sign for them. Then he has to fly to Heathrow. Harry hates Heathrow, and don't forget he didn't sign for the Arse (Arsenal). Those baggage handlers at Heathrow hate Harry."

"So it was a no-brainer. He knew Jesse Fink's mate Nicky Carle got a game in Turkey. Harry really looks up to Nicky, and Jesse. So he thought great, that'll do."

"And he saw Nicky and the other Aussie Mile Sterjovski both did well in Turkey. I mean they lasted almost six months each so Hary knew the Aussie boys could do it."

"And he knows it's cold in Turkey or else Bruce Djite wouldn't have gone there would he? And Harry doesn't like the heat. He couldn't run for nuts in the Asia Cup."

"And Harry knows Turkey is nearer the equator than Liverpool but well if Djite is there with his fear of the cold and all that, he should be right."

"Roma? Never an option mate."

"Too many roundabouts, Harry and the missus they hate Roundabouts. Traffic lights, Scouse Jim, that's what Harry always says. Give me a traffic light. Red he says means stop, green means go. Harry likes that."